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Victor of Circumstance: Disclaimer

This morning, as I was inadvertently going through the repetitive motions of my daily beauty regimen, I realized that for years now I have been doing the same thing over and over. I must have purchased and used hundreds of items to treat my facial woes and am still having the same issues. As I began to ponder that for a moment it became very disheartening to me. Not only had I bought and tried just about every beauty product known to mankind, I had alsospent thousands of dollars of my hard earned money on products and services that led to empty promises—ultimately leaving me emotionally and financially drained. Can you relate?

As I consciously awakened to this, I soon became increasingly aware to the fact that not once had any of the professionals that I sought for treatments, products, and services ever sat down with me to address or uncover the real issues—much less show interest—in how to devise a plan of action for the overall cause and treatment of my concerns. Not one time in the twenty-something years of my search for healthier and more vibrant skin had this happened. That, my friend, was heartbreaking. Sure, they all wanted to talk about what their expert services and products would do for my face, or how the treatment would offer resolution for my concerns, however absolutely nothing was ever mentioned regarding cause or prevention. WOW! (Thus truly never resulted in sustainable results) No mention of or counseling on the cause or prevention of breakouts and dark spots ONLY what they can do to band aid the situation.

I began to feel like the heavily sought after prey of the beauty industry. They lurked around every checkout stand, beauty counter, and television commercial feeding into my weaknesses, insecurities, and short comings. They’d continuously lured me in through television, print, internet, and radio ads, playing on my emotions and tapping into my endless supply of self-loathing and criticism.

This moment of clarity brought up several more thoughts … What if every time I walked into a new medical office or went to purchase the next best facial cream a disclaimer would begin to play. Sounding something like, “Vanessa, do you really think this cream is going to be any different? Vanessa, are you buying into another empty promise? What about the drawers of unused beauty products that you already have at home?”

Or what if as an alcoholic went to open the convenient store cooler and a disclaimer spoke of how the alcohol would only offer temporary relief for the situation they were hoping to permanently drown and that, in order to prevent or cure the issue, further treatment would be required. I promise you if that were the case it wouldn’t take twenty something years to come to the realization that in order to truly remedy a situation a different approach should be taken. It all begins when we allow ourselves to put band aids on bruises or disposable solutions on insoluble situations.

Again, what if every time the porn addict clicked on a website a disclaimer was triggered that warned you may need to seek professional treatment for addiction, mental, physical or sexual abuse issues from your past before displaying the erotic band aids of relief. A disclaimer would state that this website may result in temporary pleasure; however, in order to truly confront your continuing sexual issues treatment of another sort should be sought. What if you heard that every single time you signed on or called in? Don’t you think it would eventually sink in?
Okay, here’s another one that I have personally experienced. Shopping. Do you know how many people have shopping addictions? TONS! It can lead to out of control debt, bankruptcy, divorce, alienation, shop-lifting and so much more. What if every time you walked into a store or went up to the check out a disclaimer played asking you, “Do you really need that? Is that going to fill the need for which you are shopping? Sure, it feels good at the moment but how will you feel an hour from now? Will you feel happy and excited or will you feel like you did prior to shopping? Or better yet, will you feel even worse having purchased something that you couldn't afford and didn't need?”

I can totally relate to that. I used to shop almost every day on my lunch break. I would pass it off as something to do to pass the hour, or that at least it was bargain store or thrift shopping, and that it was my drug of choice and wasn’t actually hurting anyone. That was a lie! It was actually hurting me. It was allowing me to cover-up the true issue with a temporary fix, keeping me from the healing that was permanently needed. I was shopping for something that money couldn’t buy. I was shopping for love, happiness, self-worth, meaning and purpose in life, “things” that I would never find in a store and more importantly money couldn’t buy. It wasn’t until I stopped to search for the CAUSE, the core issue, that I was able to repair what was broken, replace what was missing, and prevent what had allowed it to surface in the first place. I had been shopping for self-love all that time and not realizing it.

So the next time you stop for the newest food item on the fast food menu, the latest and greatest beauty product, or the night cap to top off your most stressful day, ask yourself this … Do I need a disclaimer? Am I putting a band aid on a temporary issue, or am I attempting to put a quick fix where a complete replacement should be? Don’t cover up … Un-cover and allow yourself to heal from what truly ails you.

Love and Blessings,


Making It To Monday

Making It To Monday

Twink's Treats: The Indulgent Comfort Food – Cheesecake!

Twink's Treats: The Indulgent Comfort Food – Cheesecake!